Some time ago, I was in an old, sophisticated vibe phase, and I listened to The Carpenters quite often. One of the songs I heard was a cover, The End Of The World.

Some time recently, I suddenly remembered the lyrics and the beats. Though vague, I briefly remembered it as “Why does the sun keep on shining?” It was easy to look up what the name was after that.

It has a sad tone. It is about love. Oh, it’s a break-up song. Oh, it’s actually super popular, topping some 1962 charts.

I wanted to see if there was any story behind the song. It’s a little hobby of mine. I even bought a book on it, which I gifted said book to my voice professor of four years when I graduated college. Sadly there wasn’t really any background to the song. Only that it was about the aftermath of a romantic breakup, and that the lyricist drew inspiration from her father’s death.

So naturally, I looked more into any other details of the song. It has to have *something*, maybe some meaning, or some appearance in the media. And it does. It was used in a few shows, but nothing too popular.

Somehow it feels relatable. Like how I’m the main character of my life show, but overall pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, the song is well, just a song. The world doesn’t spin around it. Just like how the world doesn’t stop when shit happens, or in the song’s case, the breakup happens.

Someone made a comment on the lyrics.

When you’re in love, everything seems so beautiful, like it has meaning. As if when you’re in love , it makes the world go round. Or, better said, they make YOUR world go round. But when its gone, the world isn’t going to stop for you. It just keeps going.

It is always *your* world isn’t it. The fact that we are the main characters of our own little shows, and we see the world through our eyes. And it’s understandable that you always see your problem first, before anyone else’s. No wonder the lyrics ask why the sea rushes to shore. Their world as they know it, stopped. Logic and everything else is out of the window.

It’s understandable, and very natural, but a frightening habit to get into. I’ve noticed myself wallowing in misery for longer than I wanted. To be fair, I wanted no misery, but that’s never going to happen. Maybe the better term is longer than I think it *should* be, and that’s very subjective.

But the point remains. Looking back has its place. Making sense of it all and analyzing what happened help me learn from it. But there comes a turning point, of learning too much, or beating yourself up for already learned but still making the same error. And it’s easy to stay in the quicksand of feeling like crap.

I’ve found a change of scenery helps. Moving somewhere especially. That said, a clean slate, though might work for some, seems like a lot for me. Completely moving on from the past and stop looking back also feel like a lot, and I’ve really only ever done it passively, with the situation handed to me, not actively seeking it out. Maybe that’s what’s lacking.

Anyway, for one more reminiscing. The video above brought me back to 2015, or was it 2016? I was new to the US, and wandered St Peter (MN) where my college was. I stumbled upon an Oktoberfest, with the same vibe, of music and dancing and small public gathering. Fast forward til now, I’m somewhat struggling with GRE to hopefully be able to finance a masters, with Germany being a potential future destination. It feels like a runaway again, and it mostly is. Let’s see if I can run across the finish line this time.